always does, always will

my mind might says no...

but my heart always says yes..

my friends might forbid me to love you..

but i won't even bother to listen to any of their sayings..

the whole world might scold me

all people i know might leave me alone

but it doesn't matter for me

and you might be wondering and ask me why

so let me answer your question..

that's because i want no one but you

i need no one but you

having you in my life is all i ever wanted

i love you more than i've ever loved anyone else..

and i want you to stay for my whole life..

cuz you are my love..

always does, always will..

people ask when will i stop loving

i answer them without thinking

i will stop when the sun stops shining..

i will stop when the earth stop spinning..

dilemmatic letter for you..

a part of my heart says i should always be with you..

another part of me says i should stay away and listen to my friends..

you said i should listen to my heart and stop listening to the others..

you said i should follow my heart cuz it never lies..

but how can i follow it if i can't even hear it..

how can i decide when my heart is having a dilemma too..

i don't want to leave you..

but i can't stand this anymore..

i want to stand by you through this..

but i don't know when will my logics start to work..

and i know if it works,and you're not healed yet,

it means i won't be there for you anymore..

i'm sorry i can't fulfill my promises to you,

to always be with you in your hardest time..

i know i'm not a good girlfriend if i do that..

i'm mean and i don't deserve you..

but i can't handle this anymore..

dear RJ..

hey J..

how are you up there??

it's been 2 years now since we last met you here...

we all really miss you..

and personally, i still can't erase the memories i've had with you...

the fun things we've done together,

the ways you've done to cheer me up everytime i have problems,

and all the stuffs you've done for me...

even though i'm fine now, but still, i miss the jokes you've made and all the silly stuffs you've done...

well, i know that we weren't supposed to be sad right now cuz you're happy now..

but i bet you know how it feels to miss someone, especially when you know you won't see them anymore...

anyways, i believe that you're now watching us from up there..guarding each and every one of your best friends from the heaven..

we love you J...

this version of Wedding Dress (which was originally sang by Tae Yang) really sounds like the voice of my heart...it's saying the words that i want to say...

even though he's not married yet, but this is how i would feel when he gets married one day...

i really wish that i could get my second chance...

well anyways, here's a video from a youtube account called babyjennuine..hope she doesn't mind that i copied her video url and pasted it here..enjoy.. :)

url : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zh6fNiJS4xc&feature=related

Lyrics:

Should of never let you go
Should of told you how I felt
should of never let my pride get in our way
Should of kept you by my side
when I, I had the chance
But I let you slip away
My worst mistake was on that day
And it's been five years
since the day we grew apart
Though we have someone new
my heart just won't let go of you
And now it's too late
cause I'm tryna turn the pages back
when you're just skipping ahead of our story

baby do you still have a place in your heart for me
cause i've been thinking lately
that you're the one that makes my heart complete
and i don't wanna see you down the aisle with nobody else but me
Even though she's walking through that door
with my dreams and taking my place
with that wedding dress (dress dress)
in my wedding dress (dress dress)
with that wedding dress (dress dress)
in my wedding dress (dress dress)
in my wedding dress..

Baby just stop for a moment
Baby look into my eyes
Can't you see the lies behind this smile of mine
though I said congratulations
I I'm happy for you
Can't you see this love was only made just for you and I
Everytime that I try
something keeps pulling me back
From telling you the truth
That I never moved on from you
And now it's too late
Cause I'm still stuck here in our past
while you're moving ahead with your story

here comes the bride
all dressed in white
and it's a damn shame the bride isn't me

Happily ever after
that's how all fairytale ends with
So why am I with the crowd
Watching you devote your life
but not with me

Wedding Dress - Tae Yang

니가 그와 다투고
niga geuwa datugo
때론 그 땜에 울고
ttaeron geu ttaeme ulgo
힘들어 할 때면 난 희망을 느끼고
himdeureo hal ttaemyeon nan huimangeul neukkigo
아무도 모르게 맘 아-아-아프고
amudo moreuge mam a-a-apeugo
니작은 미소면 또 담담해지고
nijageun misomyeon tto damdamhaejigo

니가 혹시나 내 마음을 알게 될까봐
niga hoksina nae maeumeul alge doelkkabwa
알아버리면 우리 멀어지게 될까봐
arabeorimyeon uri meoreojige doelkkabwa
난 숨을 죽여
nan sumeul jug yeo
또 입술을 깨물어
tto ipsureul kkaemureo
제발 그를 떠나 내게 오길
jebal geureul tteona naege ogil

Baby 제발 그의 손을 잡지마
Baby jebal geuui soneul japjima
Cuz you should be my Lady
오랜 시간 기다려온 날 돌아봐줘
oraen sigan gidaryeo on nal dorabwajwo

노래가 울리면 이제 너는
noraega ullimyeon ije neoneun
그와 평생을 함께하죠
geuwa pyeongsaengeul hamkkehajyo
오늘이 오지 않기를
oneuri oji ankireul
그렇게 나 매일 밤 기도했는데
geureoke na maeil bam gidohaenneunde

네가 입은 웨딩드레스
nega ibeun wedingdeureseu
네가 입은 웨딩드레스
nega ibeun wedingdeureseu
네가 입은 웨딩드레스
nega ibeun wedingdeureseu

내 맘을 몰라줬던
nae mameul mollajwotdeon
네가 너무 미워서
nega neomu miwoseo
가끔은 네가 불행하길 난 바랬어
gakkeumeun nega bulhaenghagil nan baraesseo
이미 내 눈물은 다 마 마 마르고
imi nae nunmureun da ma ma mareugo
버릇처럼 혼자 너에게 말하고
beoreutcheoreom honja neoege malhago

매일 밤 그렇게 불안했던걸 보면 난
maeil bam geureoke buranhaetdeongeol bomyeon nan
이렇게 될꺼란 건 알았는지도 몰라
ireoke doelkkeoran geon aranneunjido molla
난 눈을 감아
nan nuneul gama
끝이 없는 꿈을 꿔
kkeuchi eomneun kkumeul kkwo
제발 그를 떠나 내게 오길
jebal geureul tteona naege ogil

Baby 제발 그의 손을 잡지마
Baby jebal geuui soneul japjima
Cuz you should be my Lady
오랜 시간 기다려온 날 돌아봐줘
oraen sigan gidaryeo on nal dorabwajwo

노래가 울리면 이제 너는
noraega ullimyeon ije neoneun
그와 평생을 함께하죠
geuwa pyeongsaengeul hamkkehajyo
오늘이 오지 않기를
oneuri oji ankireul
그렇게 나 매일 밤 기도했는데
geureoke na maeil bam gidohaenneunde

네가 입은 웨딩드레스
nega ibeun wedingdeureseu
네가 입은 웨딩드레스
nega ibeun wedingdeureseu
네가 입은 웨딩드레스
nega ibeun wedingdeureseu

부디 그와 행복해
budi geuwa haengbokhae
너를 잊을 수 있게
neoreul ijeul su itge
내 초라했던 모습들은 다 잊어줘
nae chorahaetdeon moseupdeureun da ijeojwo
비록 한동안은
birok handonganeun
 no oh
나 죽을 만큼 힘이 들겠지만
na jugeul mankeum himi deulgetjiman no oh

너무 오랜 시간을 착각 속에
neomu oraen siganeul chakgak soge
홀로 바보처럼 살았죠
hollo babocheoreom saratjyo
아직도 내 그녀는 날 보고
ajikdo nae geunyeoneun nal bogo
새 하얗게 웃고 있는데
sae hayake utgo inneunde

네가 입은 웨딩드레스
nega ibeun wedingdeureseu
네가 입은 웨딩드레스
nega ibeun wedingdeureseu
네가 입은 웨딩드레스
nega ibeun wedingdeureseu

TRANSLATIONS

I would argue
Then you would cry
As you’re struggling, I would only get stronger
My heartaches behind these shadows
My face brightens up as I see your smile
I worry that you might notice my feelings
And I get scared that the gap between us would widen
I hold my breath
Then I bite my lips
Then I pray that she would leave his side.

Baby, please don’t hold those hands
Cuz you should be my lady
Please look at me, I’ve been waiting all this time.

Once the music ends, you’ll be with him forever
I prayed and prayed that this day wouldn’t come
The wedding dress you once wore
The wedding dress you once wore
The wedding dress you once wore

You, who never understood my feelings
Because of that, I ended up despising you
Then I wished a misfortune upon you
But now, my eyes are dry
I try to talk to you but I realized that I’m alone
Every night, I would look back and think
If I already knew the results
Then I close my eyes
Then I dream an endless dream
Then I pray she would leave his side.

Baby, please don’t hold those hands
Cuz you should be my lady
Please look at me, I’ve been waiting all this time.

Once the music ends, you’ll be with him forever
I prayed and prayed that this day wouldn’t come
The wedding dress you once wore
The wedding dress you once wore
The wedding dress you once wore

By all means, be happy with him
So I can move on
Please erase me out of your heart
Although I tried my best but, no oh~

I’ve been living the lies for too long
Yet, she would look at me and smile.

Who You Are - Jessie J

I stare at my reflection in the mirror:
"Why am I doing this to myself?"
Losing my mind on a tiny error,
I nearly left the real me on the shelf.
No, no, no, no, no...

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay.
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are!
(who you are [x11])

Brushing my hair, do I look perfect?
I forgot what to do to fit the mold, yeah!
The more I try the less it's working, yeah
'Cause everything inside me screams
No, no, no, no, no...

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay.
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.
But tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
There's nothing wrong with who you are!

Yes, no's, egos, fake shows, like WHOA!
Just go, and leave me alone!
Real talk, real life, good love, goodnight,
With a smile, that's my home!
That's my home, no...

No, no, no, no, no...
Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay...
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are!
Yeah yeah yeah

at the beginning, no one would ever guess that he could change my heart.

and so do i.

we knew each other for a very long time, but never thought of being a couple.

at the beginning, i was so afraid of falling in love, flying so high, and being dropped from such a height.

but in 2 short weeks he changed it all.

he melted my cold heart and fill it with the warmth from his love.

he succeeded to make me love someone truly again.

maybe this will sound so cheesy and stuff,

but now i feel that my heart is healed.

my heart is fully recovered and my other part of wings is found.

and now, i reached the part where i'm afraid to lose him.

the part where people start to say that i'm stupid and i still do it for him.

and if you read this, babe i just want you to know that i really do love you..

i might not show it directly, but you are my life now.

you are the air that i breathe, the sun of my world, and the last person who i want to love.

you came into my life

out of nowhere you just showed up

you were a friend to me,

but now you're a lot more than that.

you might not be perfect for the world,

but you are perfect to me..

well i hope it's not for these times only..

cuz i'm glad i found you..

you are my love now..

and i hope it'll last forever..

cuz true love doesn't have happy endings,

it simply never ends...

One Man (Han Namja)- Kim Jong Kook + translation

참 오래됐나봐 이 말조차 무색할 만큼
니 눈빛만 봐도 널 훤히 다 아는
니 친구처럼 너의 그림자 처럼

늘 함께 했나봐 니가 힘들때나 슬플때
외로워 할때도 더 이별 안고서
아파할때도 니 눈물 닦아줄

한남자가 있어 널 너무 사랑한
한남자가 있어 사랑해 말도 못하는
니 곁에 손 내밀며 꼭 닿을거리에
자신보다 아끼는 널 같이 내가 있어

너를 웃게 하는 일 마치 그것만 생각하고
언제어디서나 너를 바라보고 널 그리워 하고 니 걱정만 하는

한남자가 있어 널 너무 사랑한
한남자가 있어 사랑해 말도 못하는
니 곁에 손 내밀며 꼭 다을거리에
자신보다 아끼는 널 같이 내가 있어

천번쯤 삼키고 또 만번쯤 추스려 보지만
말하고 싶어 미칠것 같은데 널 와락 난 안고 싶은데

한여자가있어 이런날 모르는
사랑받으면서 사랑인줄 도 모르는
나만큼 꼭 바보같은 슬픈 널 두고
이순간도 눈물이 나지만 행복한걸
니가 곁에 있기 때문이야

Translation

It must've been a long time. Long enough for these words to become colorless.
Even if I just see your eyes, I know everything,
Like your friend, like your shadow.

We must've been together always. When you're having hard time and you are sad,
even when you're lonley. Holding onto seperation a bit longer,
Even when I'm hurting to wipe away your tears..

There's a man. Who loves you so much.
There's a man. Who can't even say I love you.
By your side I put my hand out and
at a path were you can always reach me
I, who cherishes you more than myself, am with you.

To make you laugh, I think of only that and
When and where ever you are I'm watching you and missing you.
And who worries of only you,

There's a man. Who loves you so much.
There's a man. Who can't even say I love you.
By your side I put my hand out and
at a path were you can always reach me
I, who cherishes you more than myeslf, am with you.

For the thousandth time I swallow and again for ten thousandth time I try to set

Don't Be Good To Me - Kim Jong Kook + translation

자꾸 잘해 주지 마요 더는 잘해 주지 마요

차라리 차가운 게 오히려 나을 텐데
아님 무관심 한 게 오히려 나을 텐데

옷자락 끝에 묻은 먼지를 떼주는 일
무심코 웃으면서 어깨에 기대는 일

그냥 버릇 일 꺼야 지워보고 바쁘게 하룰 보내봐도
눈에 찍힌 사진처럼 또 생각나고 생각나

*. 자꾸 잘해 주지 마요 더는 잘해 주지 마요 또 다시
사랑 앞에 무릎 꿇고 아파할 자신 없네요

혹시 다른 맘이라면 나완 다른 맘이라면 누군가
물어보면 소개해요 그냥 아는 사람 이라고 담담하게

며칠 전 내게 했던 늦은 밤 그 전화는
못 받은 게 아니라 받을 수 없었어요

혹시 술에 취해서 생각 없이 외로운 맘에 보고 싶다
말할까 봐 아침이면 다 아닌 일이 될까 봐

*.Repeat

사랑 그 하나만으로 세상 모든 걸 가졌던 그때로
그리워도 돌아가는 길을 찾을 수 없어서
혹시 같은 맘 일까 봐 나와 같은 맘 일 까봐
또 다시 기대하고 또 기다리죠 사랑 앞에서 나 오늘도 바보처럼

그대 앞에 또 서성이죠 바보처럼

TRANSLATION:

Stop being good to me
Don't be good to me anymore

It might be better to be cold to me
Or ignoring me might be better for me
Brushing off the dust on my collar
Carelessly laughing and leaning on my shoulder

I let it go, telling myself that its just a habit and busy my day
But I think about ti again and again as if I took a picture

Stop being good to me
Don't be good to me anymore
I don't have the confidence to kneel my knees and be hurt by love
If you have other thoughts than me, if you have different thoughts than me.
If somebody asks you who I am, nonchantly introduce me as just someone you know

The phone call a couple of days ago at night, that call...
it's not that I didn't wat to answer, but I couldnt
Just in case I tell you I miss you when I'm drunk
because in the morning, I'll regret it

Stop being good to me
Don't be good to me anymore
I don't have the confidence to kneel my knees and be hurt by love
Although I had the whole world because of love
Although i miss it, I'm unable to find the way

Just in case you have the same thoughts as me,
if you happen to have the same thoughts of me
I wait again and again.
I am a fool infront of love again.
I cling to you again, like a fool.

Stop being good to me
Don't be good to me anymore

LOVE YOU GUYS! A LOT!

OH HOW I MISS YOU TWO A LOT!

i miss the times we spent in the class, when we hang out, when we're sad, or even when everything is just ALIZWEL!!!

and you guys,

even though i meet you almost everyday,

but i'm never bored of you guys...

you always make me laugh and forget about all my problems when i'm with you guys..

dear my "mom", "dad", Keti, Stefi, Prisca and Elysa,

i wish nothing will ever set us apart...

you guys are the best people who i know will always support me and stop me when i'm gonna do something wrong... *hugs!

AUG, 30 2011

my besties made my day!

Love You Bawangs :*

Anggie "Daddy" Kristantio, Aldie "Mommy" Jacob, Danissa "Keti" Paramita, Stefanus "Stefi"

another letter for you..

dear schatje,

lately,

i think about you A LOT..

just like i used to..

but i guess you're not feeling the same way anymore..

maybe you've moved on to someone else..

maybe your heart isn't feeling the same way as i am anymore..

and i definitely know that is not our fault..

i was the one who made that stupid mistake

and i was the one who hurt you so badly..

but i want you to know that i am truly sorry about it..

and now, i'll show you that i mean it..

i won't stop loving you even if someday i date someone else..

cuz even though you are not perfect for the world,

but you are the perfect one for me..

Just A Dream - Nelly

I was thinkin about her
thinkin about me
thinkin about us
where we gunna be
open my eyes...
it was only just a dream

so i travel back down that road
wish you'd come back
no one knows
i realize, it was only just a dream

i was at the top
now its like i'm in the basement
number 1 spot
now shes finding a replacement
i swear now i cant take it
knowing somebodys got my baby

now you aint around, baby i cant think
i should put it down, shoulda got that ring
cuz i can still feel it in the air
see your pretty face
run my fingers through her hair

my love
my life
my shorty
my wife
she left me, i'm tight
cuz i knew that it just aint right

i was thinkin about her
thinkin about me
thinkin about us
where we gunna be
open my eyes...
it was only just a dream

so i travel back down that road
wish you'd come back
no one knows
i realize, it was only just a dream

and i be ridin
and i swear i see your face at every turn
i try to get my usher on but i cant let it burn
and i just hope that she notice she the only one i yearn for
no more sooner will i learn

didn't give her all my love
i guess now i got my payback
now i'm in the club thinking all about my baby
hey
she was so easy to love
but wait, i guess that love wasnt enough
i'm goin through it every time that i'm alone
now i'm wishing she would just pick up the phone
but she made a decision that she wanted to move on
cuz i was wrong

i was thinkin about her
thinkin about me
thinkin about us
where we gunna be
open my eyes...
it was only just a dream

so i travel back down that road
wish you'd come back
no one knows
i realize, it was only just a dream

if you ever loved somebody put your hands up x2
and now theyre gone and you wish you could give them everything (x2)

i was thinkin about her
thinkin about me
thinkin about us
where we gunna be
open my eyes...
it was only just a dream

so i travel back down that road
wish you come back
no one knows
i realize, it was only just a dream

Thinking Of You - Katy Perry

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one, I still got the seed

You said move on, where do I go?
I guess second best is all I will know

'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
(Spending the night, spending the night)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes

You're like an Indian Summer in the middle of winter
Like a hard candy with a surprise center
How do I get better once I've had the best?
You said there's tons of fish in the water, so the waters I will test

He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth, oh!
(Taste your mouth)
He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself

'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
(Spending the night, spending the night)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into

You're the best, and yes, I do regret
How I could let myself let you go
Now, now the lesson's learned
I touched it, I was burned
Oh, I think you should know!

'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
(Spending the night, spending the night)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into your, your eyes
Looking into your eyes, looking into your eyes

Oh, won't you walk through?
And bust in the door and take me away?
Oh, no more mistakes
'Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay, stay

the past tense,present,and maybe future.. :'(

i was so happy back then..

but i was too stupid and insensitive..

that i didn't realize that you truly love me

and i didn't know that it's very precious..

now you're gone,

and i'm the one who's feeling the lost..

you're the drop of water in a desert for me..

and i can really tell now..

i might dated a guy or two,

but what you don't know is that i never take them seriously..

all i'm thinking of is you..every time..

since then, until now...

love you schat..

i really do.. :'(

one year and three months

may 2010..

the month where it all ended..

the month where i lost the best guy i might have..

he was so perfectly perfect..

and i was very ungrateful of what i've had..

i left him for something that is uncertain..

and i ended up with nothing..

now it's august 2011..

i'm still remembering about him..

that very patient, understanding, lovable guy..

still wishing that he would take me back..

even though i know that it's not possible,

but still, in the depth of my heart that wish still appears almost every night and day..

and now, i really regret my decision of leaving him..

because just after i left you then i realized how perfect he is..

so, dear you,

i don't know your feelings towards me now..

maybe you're totally disgusted of me now..

but if i have a chance, i would definitely ask you now,

would you come and take me back as your girl again?

dear RJ..

when people die,

where do they go?

some people say they might go to hell or maybe heaven..

other people say they stay in this world, but we just can't see them..

but no matter where they go,

i believe that they actually stay between us..

in our heart.

and i believe that also goes to you,RJ..

maybe now we can't see you..

maybe we can't really play with you anymore..

but i believe you're listening to each and everyone of us, your friends..

i believe that you'll try to help us with your own different way..

we do miss you..

but we're not sad anymore..

because we know that you're happy now..

wherever you are..

WE miss YOU J..

*hugs

you were just a friend
but it was all back then
now i feel totally different to you
and i thought you feel it too

but then i told my friend about it
and she told me a fact that really hits
she said you already have a girl in your life
and it really made me realize

that you're a really nice guy
who treats everyone in a really great way
and even though i can't be the one who fills your heart,
i won't bother to be your friend either
but after the pain fly away

they might see you as the bad guy
for not telling me the fact right away
but i still think that you are a nice guy
cuz you still pick your girl and choose to stay
and for me it really do shows..

now even it hurts me much,
even it makes me really disappointed,
but it also makes me proud..
proud of having a great friend like you,
a real great and loyal person..

don't wait

when you feel like you love someone, don't you ever wait to say it

even if you don't really know them..

when you love someone,

it doesn't matter how long have you know them

it doesn't matter where did you know them

what matters is just you love the way they are as you know them.

because if you wait, that person might just go away and get lost in a blink of an eye..

and when they're gone, all you can do is wait and regret..

you might think that you can replace them with someone else..

but everything will be different...

it'll be different from what you love from the former person..

if you're lucky, you might find someone who can really replace them..

but if you're not, you won't be able to love the new person as much as you loved the long gone person...

so don't wait!

Baby eagles can’t fly and keeps on falling down
Caterpillars can only stays in the ground
But both of them will grow
Both of them will turn into something greater
And when the time has come,
Grown-up eagles fly so high and fast without any chance of falling
And butterflies fly around in a gorgeous way
And so does love
In the beginning, it might be hard, ugly and tough
But at the end,
They’ll turn into a pretty, strong relationship that we had never imagined.

who doesn't love PACMAN???

i love this gameee!!!! anyone still has it?

My Top 20 Galau Songlist

> Deep and Meaningless - Rooster

> My Immortal - Evanescence

> Talking to the Moon - Bruno Mars

> Don't Go Away - Oasis

> The Man Who Can't be Moved - The Script

> Takkan Terganti - Marcell

> Percayalah - Ecoutez!

> Blue Sky Collapse - Adhitia Sofyan

> When You're Gone - Avril Lavigne

> Officially Missing You - Tamia

> I'm Yours - The Script

> Kejujuran Hati - Kerispatih

> Because of You - Kelly Clarkson

> Need You Now - Lady Antebellum

> Dicintai 'tuk Disakiti - Ari

> Dead Man Walking - The Script

> Grenade - Bruno Mars

> The Second You Sleep - Saybia

> A Little Too Not Over You - David Archuletta

and surprisingly....

> BY MY SIDE - DAVID CHOI

Beastly

"Love is Never Ugly"
is that true?
well, for me somehow it's true.
because even though you had lots of bad memories in every love stories you have, but still, the good memories also remains in your head and makes you smile every time you remember them. right?
and there's a saying which says, don't love someone because they're pretty. but they're pretty because you love them.
so don't ever feel not confident about yourself. because a true love will see you not from your looks, but from what's inside...or better yet, they'll accept you just for who you are...

Bruises - Chairlift

I tried to do handstands for you
I tried to do headstands for you
Everytime I fell on you, yeah, everytime I fell
I tried to do handstands for you
But everytime I fell for you
I'm permanently black and blue, permanently blue for you.

I tried to do handstands for you
I tried to do handstands for you
Everytime I fell on you, yeah, everytime I fell
I tried to do handstands for you but everytime I fell for you
I'm permanently black and blue, permanently blue for you-ooh-ooh-ooh

For you-ooh-ooh-ooh
So black and blue-ooh-ooh-ooh
For you-ooh-ooh-ooh.

I grabbed some frozen strawberries so I could ice your bruising knees
But frozen things they all unfreeze and now I taste like....
All those frozen strawberries I used to chill your bruising knees,
Hot July ain't good to me
I'm pink and black and blue for you.

I got bruises on my knees for you
And grass stains on my knees for you
Got holes in my new jeans for you
Got pink and black and blue

Got bruises on my knees for you
And grass stains on my knees for you
Got holes in my new jeans for you
Got pink and black and blue for you-ooh-ooh-ooh

For you-ooh-ooh-ooh
So black and blue-ooh-ooh-ooh
For you-ooh-ooh-ooh

Do-doo-do-do-do-do-doo
Do-doo-do-do-do-do-doo
Do-doo-do-do-do-do-doo
Do-doo-do-do-do-do-doo
Do-doo-do-do-do-do-doo
Do-doo-do-do-do-do-doo
Do-doo-do-do-do-do-doo

S and R

Have you ever feel like you’re meant for someone, but after some period of time you realize that you’re wrong. You realized that the person you thought right were actually not right at all. That person was just playing you around and never takes you seriously. That person just needs something or someone to get over their boringness of something else. And when you realize it, it was all too late. You have fallen too deep into their charm and start to actually fall for that person. If you do, then you will definitely understand this story.

There’s a girl, who lives happily with her friends and her boyfriend. Everything seems so perfect and she was really enjoying her life. Then one day, she went to the mall with her boyfriend. Then he saw his friends were sitting near the place that Stella and her boyfriend were sitting. So they go to where his friends were sitting. It turns out, his friends were laughing at one of themselves. That guy was drunk and kept on doing silly things. And when Stella reached her boyfriend’s friends, that drunken guy suddenly talked to Stella and started to introduce himself. He said that his name was Ryan. Then he asked what’s her name. Stella smiled. And just when Stella wants to say her name, that guy suddenly laughed and said that her name was smiley. Stella also laughed then says that her name is Stella. But the guy was too drunk to remember it. And so was it, a simple, weird, but memorable introduction between Stella and Ryan.

After that meeting, Stella and Ryan keep on meeting up. And after several meetings, Ryan told Stella why was he drunk at that time. It turns out that he had just broke up with his girlfriend and he was really stressed out. Stella starts to put some sympathy into him and cheer him up. Then without they realized, they start to get to trust and comforted by each other. And what Stella didn’t realize too is that she started to fall in love with that guy. But she didn’t have the guts to tell Ryan about the truth. Other than that, Stella was also still in a relationship with her boyfriend. So she kept the feeling in herself and started to reduce the intensity of meeting Ryan.

But then, after few months of meeting each other for almost everyday, suddenly Ryan never showed up again. Stella was panicked at the first few days. But slowly she started to forget about Ryan and start to concentrate on her boyfriend only.

2 years later, Stella gets into university. And she suddenly sees a guy that she could ever forget. She saw Ryan waiting for the elevator with her. And when she called him, he looks shocked. Stella thought that Ryan has forgotten her. But then Ryan says no. He says that he remembered her, but all he can remember is only smiley. Not her real name. Stella laughed and says that she is smiley. And there it is, another simple coincidence that make them meet again after the long 2 years.

After the coincidence in the elevator, Stella and Ryan started to eat lunch together, go to campus together, and go home together, just like they were dating. But then Ryan told Stella that he has a girlfriend already. And Stella was fine about it because she just wants to be friends with him. At least that’s what she thought at first. Because after spending time together like they used to, Stella’s feelings that she has successfully kept in her heart suddenly came out of nowhere. And at the same time, Ryan also admitted that he had actually liked Stella since the day the met. So they decided to be friends. But anyhow, they can’t really keep their feelings after they both know that they actually like each other. And Stella started to feel that the way they act is way too far from what friends should do. So Stella decided to back off. But Ryan didn’t give up that easily. He said that he wants to kiss Stella for the first and the last time. And Stella lets him. But then, when they were about to split up, Stella suddenly cried and Ryan saw it. So Ryan tried to calm her down by saying that being friends would be better because they can stay friends forever. While if they’re dating, he was afraid that they would broke up and stop having fun like they used to had. So then Stella agreed to be best friends with Ryan just like they used to be before Ryan gone away to God-knows-where. And things were just going the way they want it to be.

But after few weeks, Stella starts to realize that best friends shouldn’t do stuff that they did. But this time Stella enjoys it and stop thinking about Ryan’s girlfriend. Especially because Ryan also told her that he loves her more than her girlfriend. So it goes on.

After few months, Stella met another guy. This guy is as fun as Ryan and even cuter. So she decided to try to move on from Ryan and try to approach this guy. And she told Ryan about it. And Ryan said that he is happy for her and will let her go. And he did. But it turns out that Stella failed. She failed to get over her feelings towards Ryan. So she gave up and tried to get back with Ryan. But then, Ryan has also changed. He was so cold to Stella and started to back off from her. When Stella asked him about the things that he said before, he said that it was just jokes. Stella was hurt so deeply. And now Ryan never contacts her anymore. They even don’t meet up and talk anymore. They are barely friends now. And Stella? She is left behind alone with her heart broken, depression and lots of things to think and regret.

Breakeven - The Script

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just praying to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven... even... no

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you,
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven even... no

What am I gonna to do when the best part of me was always you,
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces
One still in love while the other one's leaving
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

Oh you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm try'na make sense of what little remains ooh
'Cause you left me with no love and no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break
No it don't break
No it don't break even no

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you and
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
(Oh glad your okay now)
I'm falling to pieces yeah
(Oh I'm glad your okay)
I'm falling to pieces yeah
(One still in love while the other ones leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

Oh it don't break even no
Oh it don't break even no
Oh it don't break even no

work out

eat out

laugh out

definitely the way to spend your weekends with your best mates..

at least that's what we thought.

cuz we can burn fat,

we can stay healthy,

and we can get to know each other well.. :)

learn from your mistakes!

sometimes mistakes you made can make you learn something big from the effect.

just like it helps me to learn a lot.

like for instance, i learned that you should never trust a man who wants to cheat on his girlfriend..it doesn't matter even if you love him like a lot more than his girlfriend does..cuz it's might be wrong..because no matter how much you love him, how much love he tried to show you, how hard he tried to say that he love you more than his girlfriend, they can be lies all along..it's all just because he was bored with the habit he usually does with his girlfriend AT THAT TIME..but when he's bored of you, he'll leave you like in no time! and then you're the one who'll be hurt at the end..so don't ever say yes when a guy ask you out even though he already has a girlfriend..and don't even trust what he says...cuz when someone lies to his or her couple, they can definitely lie to you too!

it has been a pretty long time since the last time i felt this..

and i don't know why it started to reappear these few days..

the feeling of being alone,being rejected,being sad...

even though i wasn't being rejected by anyone,

but this feeling that i used to feel keeps on showing up..

i don't want to be sad anymore

i don't want to be the girl who i used to be

i don't want to be that fragile and mushy girl anymore..

bitter 17..

sweet 17?

i can't pretty much say that my experience of being seventeen can be told as sweet..

it's pretty much bitter and better not to be remembered..

this year's birthday hurts me so bad..

the special person for me doesn't even say happy birthday to me..

i had a big fight with that two-faced person.. *well, i don't really regret this one though..*

and there's nothing special that i can count as a memorable thing...

hurts me?

A LOT...

makes me sad?

SO BADLY...

but however i can't say or do anything anymore now that the day has passed..

and the days keep on going for me, sadly...

good-bye January..

the beginning, month full of tears!

HELLO FEBRUARY!

the month that (should be) full of love and wealth! ♥ ♥ ♥

i am 92.16% obsessed with music

check the bands you've HEARD OF. Not just the ones you like.

Be honest people! If you really have never heard of them. Don't mark it. it just makes you look fake.

ALTERNATIVE:
[ ] Breaking Benjamin
[x] Paramore
[x] Panic! At The Disco
[x] Linkin Park
[ ] The Academy Is...
[x] Coldplay
[ ] Three Days Grace
[x] Yellowcard
[x]30 Seconds to Mars
[ ] Chevelle

TOTAL SO FAR = 6

COUNTRY:
[x] Rascal Flatts
[x] Carrie Underwood
[ ] Leanne Rhymes
[ ] Garth Brooks
[x] Dixie Chicks
[ ] Kenny Chesney
[ ] Tim McGraw
[x] Faith Hill
[x] Shania Twain
[x] Johnny Cash

TOTAL SO FAR = 12

EMO:
[ ] Hawthorne Heights
[ ] Chiodos
[ ] Forgive Durden
[ ] Amber Pacific
[x] The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
[ ] From First to Last
[ ] Senses Fail
[ ] Underoath
[ ] Something Corporate
[ ] Hit The Lights
[ ] Dear Whoever

TOTAL SO FAR = 13

INDIE:
[ ] The Hush Sound
[ ] Eisley
[ ] Death Cab for Cutie
[x] Dashboard Confessional
[x] The Killers
[x] Yeah Yeah Yeahs
[ ] Hot Hot Heat
[x] Gym Class Heroes
[x] Franz Ferdinand
[ ] Modest Mouse

TOTAL SO FAR = 18

METAL:
[x] Slipknot
[x] System of a Down
[ ] Disturbed
[ ] Metallica
[x] Guns n' Roses
[x] Lamb of God
[ ] Slayer
[ ] Hatebreed
[ ] Killswitch Engage

TOTAL SO FAR = 22

POP:
[ ] Teddy Geiger
[x] Ashlee Simpson
[x] Kelly Clarkson
[x] Jesse McCartney
[x] Avril Lavigne
[x] Pink
[x] The Veronicas
[x] Daniel Powter
[x] James Blunt
[x] Natasha Bedingfield
[x] Ryan Carbrera

TOTAL SO FAR = 31

POWERPOP/PUNK:
[x] Hellogoodbye
[x] Cute is What We Aim for
[ ] Cartel
[x] The Click Five
[x] Fall Out Boy
[ ] Rise Against
[x] Good Charlotte
[x] Bowling for Soup
[ ] Relient K
[ ] Anti - Flag
[x] Simple Plan

TOTAL SO FAR= 38

RAP:
[x] Ying Yang Twins
[ ] T.I.
[x] Eminem
[ ] 2pac
[x] Jamie Foxx
[x] Ludacris
[x] Lil' Jon
[x] Outkast
[x] 50 Cent
[x] Kanye West
[ ] Notorious B.I.G
[ ] Young Jeezy

TOTAL SO FAR = 46

SKA:
[ ] reel big fish
[ ] The Specials
[ ] MAD Caddies
[ ] Rancid
[ ] The Aquabats
[ ] Sublime
[x] No Doubt
[ ] Madness
[ ] Operation Ivy
[x] Bob Marley

TOTAL SO FAR= 48

ROCK:
[ ] Taking Back Sunday
[x] All American Rejects
[x] Motion City Soundtrack
[x] Avenged Sevenfold
[x] Angels and Airwaves
[x] Evanescence
[x] My Chemical Romance
[ ] Drowning Pool
[x] Green Day
[x] Blink 182
[ ] Madina Lake

TOTAL SO FAR = 56

CLASSIC ROCK:
[x] The Beatles
[x] Led Zeppelin
[x] The Rolling Stones
[x] The Cure
[ ] The Who
[x] Pink Floyd
[x] Jimi Hendrix
[x] Queen
[ ] Van Halen
[ ] Poison
[x] ACDC

TOTAL = 64

multiply your answer by 144
and then divide it by 100
Post it as I'm_% obsessed with music
then repost with: I am % obsessed with music

64 X 144 = 9216
9216 / 100 = 92.16%

boyish or girlish? well.. almost even.. :D

MY BOY SIDE
[x] You love hoodies
[x] You love jeans
[x] Dogs are better than cats
[ ] Its hilarious when people get hurt
[x] You've played with boys on a team
[ ] Shopping is torture
[ ] Sad movies suck
[ ] You own a XBOX
[x] You played with Hot Wheels as a little kid
[ ] At some point in your life you wanted to be a firefighter
[x] You own a DS PS2 or SEGA
[x] You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
[ ] You watch sports on TV
[ ] Gory movies are cool
[x] Sometimes you go to your dad for advice
[x] You own like a trillion baseball hats
[ ] You used to/do collect pokemon
[ ] Baggy sweat pants are nice to wear
[ ] Its kind of weird to sleepovers with a bunch of people
[x] Green, black, red, blue or silver are one of your favourite colours
[x] Sports are fun
[x] You sometimes talk with food in your mouth
[ ] You sleep at night with your socks on
[x] You have fished at least once
TOTAL= 13


MY GIRL SIDE
[x] You like to shop
[x] You wear eyeliner
[x] You wear the color pink
[ ] Sometimes you go to your mum for advice
[ ] You consider cheerleading a sport
[ ] You hate wearing all black
[x] You like going to the mall
[ ] You like getting manicures and/or pedicures
[x] You cried watching The Notebook
[ ] Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe
[x] Shopping is one of your favourite hobbies
[ ] You've seen Star Wars and don't like some of it
[x] You do/did gymnastics
[ ] It takes you around one hour to shower and get dressed
[x] You smile a lot more than you should
[x] You have more than 10 pairs of shoes
[ ] You care about what you look like majority of the time
[ ] You like wearing dresses whenever you can
[x] You like dancing/do dancing
[x] You like high heel shoes
[x] You used to play with dolls as a kid
[x] You like putting makeup on others
[x] You like being the star of almost everything
[x] Pink is one of your favourite colours
TOTAL= 15


Multiply by 4 to get the percentage:
Boyish: 13 x 4 = 52%
Girly: 15 x 4 = 60%

Happy Birthday my dear brother from another mother! :P

this poem by Joanna Fuchs reminds me of you instantly!

A BIRTHDAY WORKOUT

Hike across green Ireland;

Bike the USA;

Backpack through New Zealand,

But don’t call it a day…

Do yoga in lovely Paris;

Jump rope in Katmandu;

Avoid Italian pasta,

(Well, maybe taste, but don’t you chew!)

Climb atop Mt. Everest;

Do aerobics on China’s Wall;

Lift weights on Mexican Beaches;

And honey, that’s not all…

Shake your booty with native dances

In Fiji and Bora Bora;

Move your body and exercise

Like you’ve never done befora.

Okay; that’s good; you’re finished;

Now you can take a break;

You’ve finally burned enough calories

To have your birthday cake!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ko Anggie! WYATB!!

wish u like the surprise too!! :D

take care n GBU! *hey! it rhymes! too and you! :D*

feelings

this feeling keeps coming every night

the feeling that makes me want to cry all the time

the feeling that i also don't know where did it come from

or even why do i feel this feeling

i feel hurt like there's a huge wound in my heart

like there's a big rock that is kept being thrown to it

like there's a million knifes that keep on stabbing it

does it just another usual mellow night that is caused by nothing

or does it all because of that incident where i broke my heart into pieces

in this night where all i can hear is only the songs that i played

i feel so alone and friendless

so that only myself that knows about my feelings

i wanted to share, but i don't know how and who would listen and understand

oh God please take my heart

so that i can't feel anything anymore

people might say that i'm not a person

cuz i can't feel any feelings anymore

but i guess it's better

a lot better than smiling on the outside but aching in the inside

30 people, many questions!

Can you name 30 people you can think of right off the top of your head? Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 30 people. No cheating!

1. prisca
2. daniel
3. elysa
4. kyo
5. yunus
6. robert
7. idunk
8. ui
9. ko anggie
10. AJ
11. ce adit
12. ce tink
13. toge
14. ce tiff
15. floren
16. audie
17. mamat
18. rangga
19. ari
20. molyse
21. nessa
22. arlene
23. tasha
24. icha
25. narae
26. vero
27. debby
28. juju
29. nadia
30. daniss

THE QUESTIONS:
• How did you meet 10?
- in his hiphop class at gold's gym :D

• What would you do if you had never met 6?
- i would never be a third wheel!

• What would you do if 5 and 15 dated?
- HAH???? yauda sih gapapa juga..HAHA.

• If you could marry between 6 and 14 who will it be?
- 6-lah yaa...secara 14 is a girl... =="

• Did you ever like 26?
- i'm straight. thank you.

• Have you ever seen 4 cry?
- yes

• Would 4 and 27 make a good couple?
- BEH! dipenggal 3 ntarr...

• Would number 22 and 2 make a good couple?
- maybe..but i hope whey won't...

• Describe 8:
- idk her very well..but she has a good voice and seemed pretty nice.. :)

• Do you like 12?
- iya donggg.... *kedip2*

• Tell me something about 17:
- kocak!bae!gambarnya SABIIII!!!!

• What's 7's favorite color?
- apaan dunk??idk..hahahaha.

• What would you do if 1 just confessed they liked you?
- astagaaaa....jgn nginep di rumh gue lagi lu! hus2! HAHAHAHAHA.

• When was the last time you talked to number 15?
- sudah lama sekaliiii

• How do you think 19 feels about you?
- entaahh...

• What languages does 13 speak?
- INGGRIS!!!! BUAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAAK.

• Who is 2 going out with?:
- gatauu....gapernah crita2 si dani iniii...

• What grade is 16 in?
- semester 1

- What is 2's favorite songs now?
- alamak...matilah...terakhir sih dia nyuruh gue ngedengerin please don't go - mike posner...

• Would you ever date 3?
- mau ga el?? *kedip2*

• Is 11 single?
- AHAYY!!!! single en epeilebel!!! (y)

• What is 10s last name?
- laluuuwwww!!! :D

• Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 18?
- emohh!!!maunya ama nomorrr...... *kedip2 centil*

• Where does 23 live?
- taman beverly golf :D

• What do you think about 20?
- tomboy.suka breakdance

• What is the best thing about 4?
- pintar mengulik2 orang..sensitive..loving my bestie truly... (y)

• Is 21 hard-working?
- tampaknya bgitu...

• What would you like to tell 14 right now?
- ceceeehhh!!!!! aku potong rambut 55rb bagus loh!!! :P

• How did you meet 9?
- di combat class at gold's juga...hahahahaha.

• What is the best and worst thing about 2?
- best : great guitarist, worst : becandaannya ngeselin!

• Are you going to know 3 forever?
- of courseee!!!! we're soulmates!

• How long have you known 26?
- since grade 9

• Who is 24?
- teman yang kukenal gara2 keseringan nongkrong di bengsol... LOL

• Are you or did you ever date 28?
- astaganaga...GAMAUUU!!!!!!

• Do you have a crush on 27?
- no-laaahhhh....i'm STRAIGHT!

• Would you kiss 25?
- depends dimananya..klo lips,NO!

• Have you hugged/kissed 22?
- yes

• Is 29 your bff?
- one of my bffs! :D

• What do you hate about 23?
- klo udh nngs susah brentinya...

• What's your relationship with 30?
- friends donggg.... :)

50 first reactions

1. beer : carlsberg
2. food : sushi
3. relationship : love?
4. crush : D.G
5. power ranger : kuning!
6. life : rempongg
7. the president : SBY!
8. yummy : eat
9. car : sirion
10. movie : salt?
11. halloween : candies
12. sex : vincent! LOL
13. religion : catholic
14. hate : love
15. fear : heights
16. marriage : white
17. blondes : dumb? (SORRY!!!)
18. slippers : havaianas
19. shoes : black
20. asians : chinese
21. past time : better
22. one night stand : WHAT?!
23. my cell phone : charged!
24. smoke : need one!
25. fantasy : twilight (why?)
26. high school life : short
27. pyjamas : bananas in pyjamas!!
28. stars : meteor garden (HAH??)
29. center : science
30. alcohol : chung! :P
31. the word LOVE : el-o-el-o-el-o-vi-i
32. friends : love!
33. money : need it
34. heartache : me now!
35. time : of my lifeee~
36. divorce : heartbroken?
37. dogs : goldie!
38. undies : simple
39. parents : annoying sometimes!
40. babies : chubby
41. ex- : boyfriend?
42. songs : iTunes
43. color : green
44. wedding : pretty ;)
45. pizza : laper..
46. hangout : fun
47. rest : home
48. goal : casillas
49. inspiration : my besties
50. fail : used to it..lalalalaa~ LOL

CrushCrushCrush

Let The Songs Answer It!

Put your Ipod in shuffle mode. Answer these questions according to the song that appear at that time. Doesn’t matter how silly it will be, just write it down.


IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
speed - atari teenage riot (iyaloooohhh)

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
what do you want from me - adam lambert (jadi maksudnya suka2 org describenya??)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
i'll give you all my love - PIU (aww...mau dong dikasi all his love....)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
disenchanted - MCR (amit2!!!!)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
tomorrow will be better - ATT9 (???)

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
I KNOW YOU WANT ME - PITBULL (HAHAHA.PERFECT MOTTO BABEEEHH)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Please don't go - Mike Posner (Y)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Break Free - Hillsong (i know they knew that i wanna break freee!! HAHA)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
cinta terindah - umbu (sapa yaaaa???? :S)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
nyanyian sahabat - liquor band

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT LOVE?
sudnay morning - maroon 5 (my love di sunday morning doang? ngga ah...)

WHAT IS 2+2?
magic - B.O.B (hah??jelas2 empat gituu..apanya yang magical???)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
C.I.N.T.A - D'Bagindaz (cinta mulu???yg nyanyi bagindaz pula...astagaaa....)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
welcoming the sophomore - PWG (hmm...)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
use somebody - kings of leon (aaaaa!!!!! malu ahhh....gamau ngmg... :P)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
one last cry - brian mcknight (i hope that cry is a happy tear)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
tidal wave - owl city (maksudnya??)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
if we ever meet again - timbaland ft. katy perry (hah????ga ngertiiii)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
talking to the moon - bruno mars (i am scared of this song sih...makes me cry all the time)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
bring me to life - evanescence (brarti sbnrnya saya is det gitu??ALAMAAAKKK.....)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST DREAM?
buttons - PCD (hah???biggest dreamnya tombol2 doang??ckckckck)

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
marry you - bruno mars (mau sih marry dia...NGGA SEKARANG JUGA TAPIII.....)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
kimi ga suki dato sakebitai - BAAD (artinya sih aku mencintaimu dan menangis..and i do love my friends til i cry sometimes)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SAY RIGHT NOW?
aloha - cool (aloha disini artinya i love you... and i really do wanna say I LOVE YOU!!)

WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING FOR YOU?
love drunk - boys like girls (hah??masa mabok cinta paling penting?? nolaaahh...)

WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
russian roulette - rihanna (well...it's one of the worst thing sih..amit2 gue ikut2an russian roulette..)

WHAT IS THE SPECIAL SONG FOR YOUR BF / GF?
wait a minute -PCD (hahaha.brarti disuruh nunggu yak?)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR CRUSH RIGHT NOW?
billionaire - travie mccoy ft. bruno mars (hahahaha.he is a billionaire for meeeee!!! *bisaan aja nih..hahaha*)

WHAT IS THE SONG THAT YOU LIKE THE MOST?
dakota - stereophonics (SABIIII)

HOW YOU DESCRIBE YOUR LAST EX?
single ladies - beyonce (ebuseeeeet....my last ex was a guy kok...sumpah!)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
CrushCrushCrush - Paramore

100 truths

RULE!
- Tell 100 Truths


1. Last beverage = mineral water
2. Last phone call = Elysa Munster
3. Last text message = Sam
4. Last song you listened to = Hot and Cold
5. Last time you cried = 2 days ago?

SIX HAVE YOU EVER’s:
1. Dated someone twice = yes
2. Been cheated on? = yes
3. Kissed someone & regretted it? = yes
4. Lost someone special? = yes
5. Been depressed? = yes
6. Been drunk and threw up? = yes

LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:
green.pink.black.white

HAVE YOU:
1. Made new friends = yes
2. Fallen out of love = yes
3. Laughed until you cried = yes
4. Met someone who changed you = yes
5. Found out who your true friends were = yes
6. Found out someone was talking about you = yes
7. Kissed anyone on your friend's list = yes
8. How many people on your friend's list do you know in real life = mostly
9. How many kids do you want to have = 1-2
10. Do you have any pets = yes
11. Do you want to change your name = no
12. What did you do for your last birthday = treat my friends
13. What time did you wake up today = 11 am
14. What were you doing at midnight last night = talked with Prisca Aninditya
15. Name something you CANNOT wait for = my sweet seventeen party! :D
17. One thing you wish you could change about your life = how easy for me to fall in love! X(
18. What are you listening to right now = Takkan Terganti - Marcell
19. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom = yes
20. What's getting on your nerves right now? = nothing! i'm all relaxed now
21. Most visited webpage = twitter
ABOUT ME:
1. What's your name = Laurentia Shilla Budiarto Tjandrakesuma
2. Nicknames = shilla, budiarto, gendut, dek, cumi pari, buntel :S
3. Relationship Status = single
4. Zodiac sign = pisces
5. Male or female or transgendered = female
6. Elementary = St. Laurensia
7. Middle School = 7-8 St. Laurensia , 9 Stella Maris Int'l School
8. High school = 10 Stella Maris Int'l School
10. Hair color = brownish black
11. Long or short = short
16. Height = 175++
17. Do you have a crush on someone? = yes
18: What do you like about yourself? = almost everything
19. Piercings = yes
20. Tattoos = SOON!
21. Righty or lefty = righty

FIRSTS :
22. First surgery = none
23. First piercing = baby
24. First best friends = riska?
26. First sport you joined = swimming and basketball (almost at the same time! :D)
27. First pet = dogs
28. First vacation = California, USA
29. First concert = Black Eyed Peas!
30. First crush = MARCEL! LOL!!!

RIGHT NOW:
49. Eating = none
50. Drinking = none
52. I'm about to = smoke
53. Listening to = The Only Exception - Paramore
55. Waiting for = combat class

YOUR FUTURE :
58. Want kids? = yes
59. Want to get married? = yes
60. Careers in mind? = director? writer? something got to do with production house!

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
68. Lips or eyes = eyes
69. Hugs or kisses = hugs
70. Shorter or taller = taller
71. Older or Younger = older
72. Romantic or spontaneous = spontaneous
73. Nice stomach or nice arms = nice arms
74. Sensitive or loud = sensitive
75. Hook-up or relationship = relationship
77. Trouble maker or hesitant = kind of both?
HAVE YOU EVER :
78. Kissed a stranger = yea
79. Drank hard liquor = yes
80. Lost glasses/contacts = yes
81. Sex on first date = no
82. Broken someone's heart = yes
83. Had your own heart broken = a lot
86. Turned someone down = yes
87. Cried when someone died = yes
88. Liked a friend that is a girl? = no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself = yes
90. Miracles = yes
91. Love at first sight = yes
92. Heaven = yes
93. Santa Clause = used to
95. Kiss on the first date? = yes
96. Angels = yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
97. Is there one person you want to be with right now? yes (more than one actually)
98. Who is it? Elysa Munster . Rio 'Kyo' Bayu Pratama . Prisca Aninditya . Daniel Ganx . Nickelano Gunadi
99. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? yes
100. Posting this as 100 Truths? Yes

My Life According to Ne-Yo

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST/BAND, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 15 people you like and include me. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "my life according to (band name)"

Pick your Artist:
Ne-Yo

Are you a male or female?
" Miss Independent "

Describe yourself:
" One In A Million "

What do people feel when they're around you?
" Addicted "

Describe where you currently live:
" Spotlight "

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
" Mirror "

Your favorite form of transportation:
" Leaving Tonight "

Your best friend is:
" Angel "

You and your best friends are:
" Crazy "

What's the weather like:
" A Little Space " *agak ga nyambung..*

Favorite time of day:
" I Ain't Gonna Tell You "

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
" Sexy Love "

What is life to you:
" TROUBLE "

How would you describe your previous relationship?
" So Sick "

Describe your current relationship.
" Go On Girl "

How do you feel about love?
" Irreplaceable "

Your fear:
" When You're Mad "

What is the best advice you have to give:
" Let Go "

Thought for the Day:
" Let Me Get This Right "

How I would like to die:
" Fade Into the Background "

My soul's present condition:
" MAD "

My motto:
" I'm Doing Okay "

What would you ask for if you had only one wish?
" Don't Fall In Love "

heartbroken = haircut !

you know my habit after heartbroken, right?

and i've just gotten my heart broken again..

and now,

i cut my hair again!!!

people say this haircut suits me better..

what do you think??? :D

the life of an everyday actress

if you call me now, maybe you can see that i've stopped crying..

if you see me now, i bet you'll think that i've get over you already..

but what you don't know is my heart is still crying..

what you don't know is my mind is still thinking about you everytime..

i might be a good actress,

it's because i don't want you to feel bad anymore..

i might look happy and laughing all the time now,

but actually my heart is screaming and crying still..

i want people to see me as a tough girl..

i want you to think that i'm not that childish little girl anymore..

i want to change my image in front of all of you..

but sorry to say, i still feel the same thing ever since..

the only difference now, i don't show it to the world like i used to..

how could i?

you were always there when i need you

you were the one who rise up the sun when the darkness is all around

you made my mind full of you all the time

but now you're the one who breaks my heart

how could i stop my feelings?

how could i replace you with someone else?

how could i get over this feeling now that you're the one who made this appears?

how could i ever forget you???

people came and left in my life

i have felt heartbroken before..and i bet you know how bad is that..

i've get over this guy and that

but somehow this is different

and i feel scared to fall in love again

this world keeps spinning around

my life keeps on going

and people say the show must go on

but my heart does not know how to get over you

and move on

cuz my heart was broken into pieces

He's Just Not That Into You

just watched the movie "He's Just Not That Into You"

and when i watch that movie, every time i see the character Gigi, i feel like seeing myself in different look, different age but the same condition.

and now i realize that maybe he's just not that into me. maybe it was all my imagination and dream to have him as someone who loves me more than just a friend. i keep expecting him to contact me first, but it never happens. and i just realize that when a guy doesn't contact you, it might just be that he just don't want to contact you. not that he's testing you or expecting you to contact him. as simple as that.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

2010 was a great year with lots of lessons that we get from the problems we had..

and i believe, 2011 is ready to "teach" us some more lessons with more problems ahead...

but don't be afraid or worried too much about them...

because however the situation is, mr.G will still always be there for us.. :)

new year, new chapter, new hope...

cheers! xoxo