always does, always will

my mind might says no...

but my heart always says yes..

my friends might forbid me to love you..

but i won't even bother to listen to any of their sayings..

the whole world might scold me

all people i know might leave me alone

but it doesn't matter for me

and you might be wondering and ask me why

so let me answer your question..

that's because i want no one but you

i need no one but you

having you in my life is all i ever wanted

i love you more than i've ever loved anyone else..

and i want you to stay for my whole life..

cuz you are my love..

always does, always will..

people ask when will i stop loving

i answer them without thinking

i will stop when the sun stops shining..

i will stop when the earth stop spinning..

dilemmatic letter for you..

a part of my heart says i should always be with you..

another part of me says i should stay away and listen to my friends..

you said i should listen to my heart and stop listening to the others..

you said i should follow my heart cuz it never lies..

but how can i follow it if i can't even hear it..

how can i decide when my heart is having a dilemma too..

i don't want to leave you..

but i can't stand this anymore..

i want to stand by you through this..

but i don't know when will my logics start to work..

and i know if it works,and you're not healed yet,

it means i won't be there for you anymore..

i'm sorry i can't fulfill my promises to you,

to always be with you in your hardest time..

i know i'm not a good girlfriend if i do that..

i'm mean and i don't deserve you..

but i can't handle this anymore..

dear RJ..

hey J..

how are you up there??

it's been 2 years now since we last met you here...

we all really miss you..

and personally, i still can't erase the memories i've had with you...

the fun things we've done together,

the ways you've done to cheer me up everytime i have problems,

and all the stuffs you've done for me...

even though i'm fine now, but still, i miss the jokes you've made and all the silly stuffs you've done...

well, i know that we weren't supposed to be sad right now cuz you're happy now..

but i bet you know how it feels to miss someone, especially when you know you won't see them anymore...

anyways, i believe that you're now watching us from up there..guarding each and every one of your best friends from the heaven..

we love you J...