I used to be so desperate for a boyfriend

Used to believe everything that was said by those men

But all the lies, the heartbreaks and all those cheating I've been through,

Gave me better eyes and feelings to know which are fake, which are true

My heart became numb towards them after a while

Thinking nobody and nothing could make me live my life

I shut new people out, keep my distance with even my loved ones,

Tried to make an invisible wall that was impossible to fall

I thought my wall was concrete

I thought no more hole was on it

But I don't know what you do

You somehow break it through

You found that smallest hole in my surrounding wall

And through that hole you break it all

You made me weak, touched me into my soul

Thought I'm hopeless, can't move, yet you helped me roll

You gave me new spirit to live, you give me chance to rise

When life is killing me, you heal me from the inside

You made me trust you, believe that love still exists

They might be hard to be seen, but I know yours is real.

This is (not) Our Goodbye

The light of the sky-flowers just passed,
People are still clinking their glass
The shouts and sounds of trumpets just dropped,
The joy are freshly felt around the world.

But here we let our heads bow down,
staying in our our rooms, doesn't do around.
Hugging ourselves, wiping our tears,
while people outside saying Happy New Year.

I know I promise not to stop fighting.
But we can't force what we want for everything.
Even though we might have to go separate ways this time,
But I believe when it is right, we will unite.
So no matter how hard, no matter how tough
We should never give up for the sake of our love.

Hey you..
I'm sorry I've got to do it this way...I might seem so selfish, might seem like I'm such a coward..
But don't hate me bcs I just wanted our last day being together to be nice and memorable for you..and I can't say it face-to-face bcs I know I'll retreat and stop myself from leaving..
I know I will regret this decision...I know I'll fall to a very very deep hole...but it would be a thousand times better than seeing you suffer,hurt,or even just having more bad times than what you actually deserve..
I'm sorry for lying in your face in the car..saying that I won't go away and we're just gonna lose the status...I know you won't agree with my decision..but please trust me when I say that THIS IS NOT bcs I don't love u...but it's bcs I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH to be an obstacle for you...your mom might be right..I AM a bad influence for you...even when I don't do it directly by doing bad stuff that u might copy, but with me, you can't focus most of the time..everytime my sickness kick in,we fight,and it'll end up with you crying and just can't focus with anything...
As people say, there's always goodbyes after hellos..and I guess this is our time to say bye...it seemed like a very short encounter between us...but I honestly say that this has been the best relationship I've ever been..and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I do...but I won't blame you anyway if you wanted to hate me...cuz maybe I deserve it...
Anyway,thank you for being the most perfect lover...for being an awesome guy..for being someone that completes me 100%...
I might not be the right person for you, but trust me when I say I love you even more than my life..
I'm sorry the last day must be filled by lies..but all the things about my feelings towards you,all my love for you,it's all true...
I hope you'll have a better future without me....a future that you deserve, a future that would be filled with all the best things in life...and remember that you promised me, whatever happens, you'll never change and you'll still be the same YOU I've always known....
I LOVED YOU, I LOVE YOU, AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.. *sounds cheesy,I know..but even if one day I marry someone other than you,trust me that you've owned my heart.. :')

30 people

Can you name 30 people you can think of right off the top of your head? Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 30 people. No cheating!

1. batak
2. agai
3. SJ
4. SB
5. kaki
6. elysa
7. prisca
8. dani
9. dad
10. mom
11. stefi
12. keti
13. mokmok
14. felix
15. rico
16. ko DC
17. tiff
18. adhit
19. gope
20. keket
21. rampang
22. ponnie
23. vee
24. fiona
25. nita
26. amira
27. ka eigo
28. ka vicky
29. wiedhy
30. mandha

THE QUESTIONS:
• How did you meet 10?
- ARLENE took me to his class. :D

• What would you do if you had never met 6?
- i won't ever come to any class during semester 1 and 2

• What would you do if 5 and 15 dated?
- OMAGAH! SERIOUSLY?! JINJJA?!

• If you could marry between 6 and 14 who will it be?
- errr..... none?

• Did you ever like 26?
- yes~! :P

• Have you ever seen 4 cry?
- nope. hahahaha.

• Would 4 and 27 make a good couple?
- OF COURSE NOT!

• Would number 22 and 2 make a good couple?
- err... no? :P

• Describe 8:
- awesome guitarist, funny, an awesome friend, DAEBAK~!

• Do you like 12?
- as my sister? HELL YEAH!

• Tell me something about 17:
- she has a super straight and grumpy look.

• What's 7's favorite color?
- err... not sure..

• What would you do if 1 just confessed they liked you?
- I'll laugh so hard and 100% sure that he's joking.

• When was the last time you talked to number 15?
- last week-ish?

• How do you think 19 feels about you?
- I'm a great friend. B) right, gop?

• What languages does 13 speak?
- aigoo... korean, english, indo?

• Who is 2 going out with?:
- ME! *MODUS!

• What grade is 16 in?
- he graduated recently! YEAY!
• What is 2's favorite songs now?
- i'm not sure... >_<

• Would you ever date 3?
- haha. what a coincidence... *i mean the question. :')

• Is 11 single?
- yes?

• What is 10s last name?
- Laluw :)

• Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 18?
- no.

• Where does 23 live?
- errr......

• What do you think about 20?
- awesome friend. awesome mom. awesome!

• What is the best thing about 4?
- he's super duper funny

• Is 21 hard-working?
- yes?

• What would you like to tell 14 right now?
- i cried again lix... :(

• How did you meet 9?
- again, ARLENE took me to his class.

• What is the best and worst thing about 2?
- best : such a great person who always supports you to do good things and prevent you to do bad things.
- worst : too much work that makes him ignorant of his own health. >:(

• Are you going to know 3 forever?
- probably. but i don't think so...

• How long have you known 26?
- errr.... 4 months?

• Who is 24?
- my "jerapo-bebeb" :p

• Are you or did you ever date 28?
- nope.

• Do you have a crush on 27?
- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

• Would you kiss 25?
- aniyoooo!!!!!!

• Have you hugged/kissed 22?
- yes ;;)

• Is 29 your bff?
- just a good friend of mine :)

• What do you hate about 23?
- i haven't found any. :D

• What's your relationship with 30?
- a good friend :)

a new lesson about love. FOR ME.

love.

what is love?

love sometimes doesn't come from the outside.

sometimes love doesn't always mean relationships between a girl and a guy.

sometimes even love doesn't come from your parents.

but there are things that are certain about love.

love gives happiness.

love gives you supports.

love gives you passion.

love gives your dark world a light that shines like the sun never stop shining the world.

and if you think deeper,

you need people around you to give you love.

but that's not the only source where you can get love.

the main source you can get love is always there for you ALL THE TIME.

the main source you can get love is actually REALLY REALLY CLOSE with you.

because the main source of love for you is YOURSELF!

when you love yourself deeply,

when you love yourself purely,

when you love yourself a 100%,

then other people will definitely love you eventually.

inspired by TAEYANG a.k.a SOL a.k.a YB oppa :3

There would always be time when a guy says to himself,

“I NEED A GIRL, who would take care of me”

“Include me in her PRAYER every night”

“a girl who would LOOK ONLY AT ME and no one else”

And I know that you know,

A million girls would do those wishes just for you

I know this is such a huge and impossible dream,

To wish that you could know who I am

To wish that you would even notice who I am.

To wish that one day you’ll say “this is MY GIRL”

I might not know WHERE U AT right now

Or what are you doing now.

But I’ve been paying attention to you

Even when you don’t even know who I am

And I’LL BE THERE if you need me one day

This simple poem I made is just another way

A simple way for you just to notice me

Cuz I never imagine that I would be your bride

And wear that WEDDING DRESS we picked together

For me, just knowing that you notice me, know who I am,

That would make my world seems brighter and better.

People say love at first sight doesn’t exist

I used to believe them

But then I saw you in a very dull day

And all in a sudden my day feels better

I didn’t know what does it means

I didn’t realize that you’re the one who made my day

I wasn’t planning to fall for you

But I can’t lie to myself either

You fill my heart and mind since then

You stay in my dreams every time I sleep

You make my days even when I just see you from a distance

And then I know that since then,

I have fallen deeply in love with you