Deep and Meaningless - Rooster

I, I don't know why I miss you so much
Yeah I, I don't know why I still feel your touch
You, you left me feeling high and dry
With nothing, nothing but the question why

Yeah you, I guess you had another direction
And leaving me with nothing but a dead connection

Chorus:
If you call me today
I'll say that I'm fine
But I bet you can tell by the tone of my voice
It's just a lie
You knew what you had
You still walked away leaving me in this mess
My love for you is deep and meaningless

You, you knew what you were doing to me
And I, I guess I was too blind to see
Well you hit where it hurt and you fooled me so bad
But I'd do it again to relive what we had
(Damn that's sad)

There are many things left to remind me
Of a love that I just can't leave behind me

goodbye my angel...

now i'm here,

alone again..

with no one accompanies me in the middle of this rain..

without you by my side..

and i guess you'll never be by my side anymore starting from today..

i can't handle this anymore..

i can't handle the pain..

the pain of being the third wheel..

i'm sorry for denying the promise..

the promise we shared before..

now i've got to let you go..

now i can't stand the pain anymore..

even though i really do want you,

but i'm too scared of the karma that would happen if i continue this..

i'm afraid you'll do the same thing to me..

and i know, if that happen, i will be so damn hurt..

so sorry dear..

i have to do this..

but believe in one thing,

i really do love you very much...

2nd of November :')

02.11.09

it's the date i would never forget..

the day that one of my bestfriends left this world and moved to the Lord's kingdom...

the day that made me really sad that i cried so loudly at the gym..

i remembered that day..

i was at the gym..

i just finished my combat class...

i was laughing loudly looking at the silliness of my friends..

then i suddenly felt so lonely and weird at that time..

and when i checked my cellphone,

there was a lot of missed calls from Tasha..

then suddenly she called me again..

crying so loudly and said, "RJ has left us..."

i thought she was joking..

but then she cried and cried and cried..

then i realized that she's serious..

without thinking, i screamed to Arlene and said what Tasha just said to me...

i suddenly felt empty, frozen, lonely..

i just realized that the best guy in the class, the best leader that had ever lived, the best daddy of the class, had left..

i can do nothing..

i only felt that the time suddenly stopped..

then suddenly i couldn't contain myself, and i cried...

i cried so loudly..

cuz the person i truly believed, the person who never judged me, the person who's very meaningful for me had to come back to the Almighty's kingdom..

and now, it's 02.11.10..

i'm sitting here alone at this coffee shop..

thinking about that silly guy that has left the world and moved to heaven...

missing him so much that i might cry in this very second..

craving for his matureness and his gentleness..

but i started to realize that God must have plans so that He pulled RJ in a such young age..

plans for him, plans for us, plans for everyone..

and i realize that i shouldn't cry for him anymore..

cuz he's happy now up there..

and i bet he doesn't want us to be sad all the time anymore..

Lord,

please take care of RJ up there..

and also open our eyes, God..

so that we won't cry for him anymore..

cuz i bet he doesn't want the people he loves keep crying for him..

that's all i want to ask from You, Lord..

p.s.

RJ, WE ALL MISS YOU SO MUCH! wait for us up there okayy...

then we can do silly things and have fun again up there..

love you "daddyy"!!!

Xs and Os,

the gembelers!

dear RJ

dear RJ,

hey there daddy..

how are you up there?

it's almost a year since you left..

we all miss you like crazy here..

do you miss us like we missed you???

in this one year,we all thought a lot about you...

we also talked about you too.. (well,i bet you know...)

but sadly most of those conversation ended with tears though...

i know you're happy now up there..

and i know you must be happier if your friends are happy too here..

but still,i can't lie to myself that i miss you so damn much man!

it's hard for me to stop crying for you when i remembered about you...

cuz you're one of the best guy friend that i've ever had...

but however,

i wrote this just to remind you that we all still remember you..

not just now i hope..

but forever...

i hope the "gembelers" will always remember you as the best leader that had ever led us..

love you J...

Xs and Os,

shilla :')

you

when you're around, i can't stop laughing..

i can't stop smiling..

i can't deny that i always feel happy..

you always act the way you are..

you never pretend to be anyone else when you're with me..

i can always see the real you..

i know you're not mine..

i know you don't love me the way i do..

i know you love her so much..

but it's okay dear..

cuz i believe,

someday i can be yours and you'll be mine..

forever and ever..

p.s. even if it doesn't happen, i'm still okay...

cuz when you're happy, i can feel that happiness too.. :)

iluimuinu tikus jelek! :)

we started as friends..

we had a lot of great times since then..

but then you left without saying anything to me..

now you suddenly show up again..

fill my life with all those happiness and laughs again..

my days seemed so clear and fun again..

now i have this "feeling" towards you..

but you have that girl that you've committed to..

and i can't force you to love me too..

it's okay for me..

cuz even by being your friend, i can still feel your love towards me..

even though not as your girl, but i believe you care and love me too..

thank God that i finally can find you again..

it makes my days mean a lot to me..

even physically i'm not yours,

but trust me dear, my heart is yours..

i might take other person as my boyfriend later on..

but you will always be the guy who fills my heart with all your love...

you are my friend, my special one, my everything..

i know this is wrong..

showing your love to someone that is already in a relationship..

but i can't lie to myself..

my heart can't deny it..

i can't tell myself to avoid you..

cause i love you too much to do that..

too bad the timing is not right..

it's always been like that since long ago..

i don't know what HE meant by reuniting us again like this..

especially in this condition..

when you have that special girl in your heart and life..

well now all i can do is just be your bestfriend..

all i can do is just not letting you go again..

i want to learn to love 100%..

i want to learn to be happy when you're happy..

cause i believe that love doesn't mean i have to have you..