simple writing about my complicated mind.

i might have written hundreds and hundreds of love poems...

and i know it sounds weird when i say those things to many different people..

makes me sounds like i can fall in love so easily...

but i don't care about it..

cuz this blog was made so i can pour out my feelings in the form of words..

like now,when i feel so rejected,so useless,so unimportant..

especially for that guy..

maybe people say that i should make myself think that it's his loss..not mine..

but somehow i feel unwanted now..

i feel like i might don't deserved to be loved...

and i still can't believe that i'm that bad and useless that no one had ever loved me truly..

and when i think i've found someone that could love me truly,,

he didn't even love me..

he just takes me as a friend..

nothing else..

now there's millions of questions that i want to ask to the Almighty..

cuz even though i know He always gives everyone the best that they need, not what they want,

but still, i can't really see His plan for me now..

i'm totally lost in my own life..

not knowing what to do next..

especially when i see that this guy is actually preferred my best friend instead of me..

i'm not sure anymore about what to do..

should i keep struggling and try to get him?

or should i let go, back off, and stop all this?

God,

if You're really there, all i want for this Christmas is just an answer for all of this..

i won't deny that i want him to love me truly..

but if it's just not the way You want it,

please Lord, let me know why and what should i do...

cuz i'm tired enough of being so lost in my own life..