People say love at first sight doesn’t exist

I used to believe them

But then I saw you in a very dull day

And all in a sudden my day feels better

I didn’t know what does it means

I didn’t realize that you’re the one who made my day

I wasn’t planning to fall for you

But I can’t lie to myself either

You fill my heart and mind since then

You stay in my dreams every time I sleep

You make my days even when I just see you from a distance

And then I know that since then,

I have fallen deeply in love with you

you were one of the most important person in my life
and i was also one of them in yours too
but i decided to leave and forget
leave from your life and forget about us

2 years later,
i thought i forgot and moved on from you
then you showed up out of the air
and i realized, i never truly forget
and worst, i always keep inside my heart that i regret..
regret everything i said, everything i did to you..

now you're single but not available you say
and you say since then you take me as a sister
but please i wanna say the truth about my feelings
that i truly miss and love you since then
and it hasn't changed until this very second..

will you ever give me a second chance?
will you trust that i'm capable and much more mature now?
will you love me back as you did back then?

you came at the most unexpected time

and your entrance was so surprising 

that even yourself didn't see it coming

and you made me feel that everything is so right

you impressed me

you impressed my family

but after all the fineness you showed,

you made me fall from such height

that fall doesn't killed me

but it makes me injured so bad

maybe physically i look so fine

i look like nothing really happened

i smile, i laughed, i fool around like i usually am

but deep inside in my heart i'm dying

i cry, i scream, i'm so badly torn

my brain told me to stop

told me to let you go

told me to find someone who really sees how worthy i am

but my heart can't lie

it has fallen into you

fallen too deeply that it can't find it's way back to the surface

easy to fall for a person.

yeap. that's me.

and i kinda hate that part of me.

it makes me fall for you,

even though i don't know you that well.

there are actually lots of difference that i should have thought before.

you're a lot older than me.

and the worst,

you've found your "soulmate" and marry her.

even though i don't really know your relationship with her now.

but to be honest, i'm afraid.

afraid of falling in love with you.

afraid you've been lying to me about her.

afraid all that i thought about you are wrong.

and if i was wrong,

it means i'm repeating my own mistake.

and i don't want that.

on the other side,

i can't lie that i've fallen for you.

i can't lie that i feel very comfortable with you.

and i can't lie that i actually don't want to lose you.

at least for now.

the busy big road and the simple small alley

here in this city lots of roads i can find

there are big boulevards that are neatly made

but other than that there are alleys too

alleys that are small and messy

the big roads might seemed secure and safe

but those roads are usually too crowded and it makes it stuck

while the alleys are small and unexpectedly smooth

because not many people know where it goes and are familiar with it

just like you are

you might be messy, unorganized and seemed like nothing

but for people that already knew you,

you have your own special value

and now i realized that i've found it

and it makes you be that dead end alley that i can't turn back from

always does, always will

my mind might says no...

but my heart always says yes..

my friends might forbid me to love you..

but i won't even bother to listen to any of their sayings..

the whole world might scold me

all people i know might leave me alone

but it doesn't matter for me

and you might be wondering and ask me why

so let me answer your question..

that's because i want no one but you

i need no one but you

having you in my life is all i ever wanted

i love you more than i've ever loved anyone else..

and i want you to stay for my whole life..

cuz you are my love..

always does, always will..

people ask when will i stop loving

i answer them without thinking

i will stop when the sun stops shining..

i will stop when the earth stop spinning..

dilemmatic letter for you..

a part of my heart says i should always be with you..

another part of me says i should stay away and listen to my friends..

you said i should listen to my heart and stop listening to the others..

you said i should follow my heart cuz it never lies..

but how can i follow it if i can't even hear it..

how can i decide when my heart is having a dilemma too..

i don't want to leave you..

but i can't stand this anymore..

i want to stand by you through this..

but i don't know when will my logics start to work..

and i know if it works,and you're not healed yet,

it means i won't be there for you anymore..

i'm sorry i can't fulfill my promises to you,

to always be with you in your hardest time..

i know i'm not a good girlfriend if i do that..

i'm mean and i don't deserve you..

but i can't handle this anymore..